No Sex Please – Busy Writing Complaint Letters

It’s been one of those weeks where I am convinced that customer service has gone to the dogs.  I went to the Toyota dealership to have a burned out bulb replaced on my car.  Let’s understand that I did not go in just for that.  Since I had to bring my vehicle in because of a recall, I thought this was a good opportunity to have them replace the bulb. Paid for the bulb but when I got home that evening I noticed that still only one of my parking lights in front was working.  Well, I’ll be damned.  What did they change?  Went back to the dealership a few days later and explained to them what happened.  I asked the customer service rep which bulb they replaced.  He said the side one.  Well the side one was working fine and the front is still not working.  On the off-chance that my side light was not working as well, I asked him if the technician wouldn’t test all the lights before signing off on the work order.  He said he couldn’t comment on this.  What does that mean? It appeared to be a case of someone not doing their job.  He couldn’t comment on this either.  They replaced the correct burned out bulb without so much as an apology.

Same week, I went to Michael’s to buy some picture frames.  I picked up three frames and when I got  to the cash I asked the cashier if there were any specials or coupons I could take advantage of. I was told there weren’t.  Well, lo and behold, as I’m exiting the store, I see coupons at the entrance for 30% off the entire purchase, today only.  I went back into line to return my purchase and re-buy it with the 30% off coupon.  When I got to the cashier, I had to wait for a supervisor to authorize the return because it was over $50.  After about 5 minutes a supervisor comes to authorize the return.  I looked at her.  This was the person that had cashed me out the first time and who told me there were no coupons or sales.  I told her that she had cashed me out.  Wait for this.  She said, “couldn’t be me.  I haven’t been on cash all day.”  I looked at her face again.  Well, let’s check the receipt I said.  “Oh, it was me”, she said.  The kicker, and her defence now, was that it wasn’t her job to tell customers about specials or coupons.  WTF!

We all know that things happen in threes.  It’s true.  Later the same week, I went to Blinds or Us to order a blind.  I put the order in and left a deposit.  The sales associate asked me to double check the measurements when I got home and call her back.  Once I got home, I did my due diligence and called the store back to tell them that the measurements that I gave them were correct and to go ahead with the order.  After a week, I call the store to see what the hold up is.  It should have been ready in 2-3 days.  I was told the order was still sitting there waiting for me to confirm the measurements.  I blew my stack.  Two things went wrong here.  First, the idiot that took my call did not pass the message on to the lady that wrote up the order and secondly, the lady that took my order did not follow up on this order that was waiting for the customer to call back.

What is going on?  Are workers being too complacent about doing a good job.? Are customers not that important anymore?  Very disappointed with the way of the world.

No Sex Please – Busy writing complaint letters!



No Sex Please – Busy Running to the Emergency

Well, my life was settling down to a new routine, but as all routines go, they get a little boring after a few days.  Friday night, my daughter borrowed the car to meet up for dinner with her 2 half-sisters.  As they weren’t able to get together for Christmas, this was their time to catch up with each other.  I am always happy when they get together.  Again, it’s about family and family comes in different packages.  Before leaving the house, I cautioned my daughter to drive carefully and make sure she had her GPS to guide her.  A few hours later, she called to say that they had had a good dinner.  She also told me she got lost getting to the restaurant, but she did make it, although a bit late.  Because it was still early on a Friday night, they decided to go roller blading at a nearby rink.  Roller blading?  I felt uneasy about it since she has never roller bladed before.  I told her not to fall and if she did fall, “don’t hit your head”.  She’s a good girl and always heeds my advice.  She fell, but she didn’t hit her head.  She fractured her right wrist.  My fault.  I should have listed all the body parts that I didn’t want her to hurt.  She got home in tears with the severe pain in her arm.  Off to hospital emergency.  After the mandatory 3 hour wait, Dr. Orkin ordered an x-ray and pain killers.  The x-ray showed an abnormality which he couldn’t figure out.  He put a splint on her arm which looked more like a cast and advised us to come back Monday morning at 6:45 a.m. when the fracture clinic opened to have a specialist look at the x-ray and the arm.  At 2:30 a.m. we headed home.  I should have been happy with my boring routine.

No Sex Please – Busy in the Emergency Department!

No Sex Please – Waiting for the Urologist!

It’s been just over a month since mother was released from hospital with a catheter and today was her follow-up appointment with the urologist.  The hope was that he would remove the catheter and all would be as before. The appointment was at 2:15 p.m. and we got there right on the nose. As we were making our way down the corridor to the doctor’s office, I see half a dozen people sitting in the hallway.  I raised my eyebrows in question.  As I poked my head into the reception area of the doctor’s office, I blurted out, “What the hell!”  There were at least an additional fifteen people sitting in the reception area.  I looked questioningly at a man who was patiently sitting there and he informed me that whenever he comes, it’s always like this and sometimes worse.  He has, in the past, waited two hours  to see the specialist.  “What can you do?” he asked in a resigned tone.  Well, that is exactly why we are all waiting here like a herd of cattle, because no one says anything.  By not speaking up, we are allowing them to continue to disrespect us.  I fully understand that sometimes doctors fall behind and so the schedule gets backed up.  However, that should be the exception, not the rule.    These are scheduled appointments.  There are no emergency cases taken and I can only think that perhaps what should have been a 20 minute consultation turned into a 30 minute consultation for a couple of patients.   However, that should not set you back 2 hours.  We were finally called in for our 2:15 appointment at 4:15 p.m.  Really now!  In 15 minutes we were done and the doctor ushered us out of his office the same way we came in -with the catheter.  It looks like mother has a new friend for life.

No Sex Please – Too Busy Hanging Around the Doctor’s Office

No Sex Please – Mother Can Hear!

For the past few years, communication in this house has been intolerable.  My mother’s hearing has gotten so bad in the last little while that the only way to communicate with her was by shouting and when you shout, it sounds like you are angry and screaming.  That’s what happens when you raise your voice louder than normal.  During the summer when the windows and doors were open, I was very careful not to say too much to my mother for fear that the neighbours might hear what might have been construed as verbal abuse.  When my mother would turn on the TV, she would have it at the maximum volume and we would jokingly tell her that the neighbours had turned off their TV volume as they were listening to ours.  My father, whose hearing is just marginally better than my mother’s, would often ask what all the screaming was about.  Not screaming dad; just trying to communicate.

This week, mother got new hearing aids.  Hallelujah! They are the cadillac of hearing aids, and they should be for the hefty price that was charged for them. She hears really well…in fact, too well.  Today, she told me that they were not working properly because she could hear her breathing.  Because of a lung condition, mother’s breathing is raspy and crackly.  I can hear it when I’m beside her, but she has never heard this sound before – a totally foreign sound.  I suppose this is what it feels like when a deaf person gets a cochlear implant and hears sound for the very first time.  Well, all I can say now is that I have to watch my potty mouth when I swear in frustration, and my daughter cannot sneak in the boyfriend through the side-door anymore.  She hears all! We’re doomed.

No Sex Please – Mother is Listening!

No Sex Please – Busy Reading the Obituaries

Some people read the sports pages first thing in the morning.  Some people read the financial news.  I go straight to the obits.  No, I don’t think it’s morbid at all.  How will I know if someone I know has passed away.  I’ve travelled many roads throughout my life and I’ve met a lot of people so I want to know if they have departed this world.  Needless to say, whenever I find an obit of someone I know, I go into total shock and then I spread the word to those that I think might have known the person and we share our shock and surprise.

A few years back, I saw the obituary of the wife of an ex-boyfriend from high school and felt obliged to attend the funeral.  I took time off work and went to the church for the funeral mass.  I made sure I got there early so that I could see the family walk in and see what this ex looked like after all these years.  Morbid curiosity?  Call it what you will.  First, an elderly woman walked in.  I assumed it was the ex’s mother; after all, I hadn’t seen her in years.  Then walks in the husband of the deceased with two teenage girls.  Hmmm…Ooops! Wrong funeral.  Not the ex.  Who the heck were these people?    I stayed till the end of the funeral mass, out of respect of course.

No Sex Please – Busy Attending Strangers’ Funerals!


No Sex Please – I’m Busy Living the Life!

Got up this morning and checked that mom’s  catheter bag was properly closed so that we wouldn’t have a ‘pee’ flood all over the house. It doesn’t matter how many times I show her how to close the end, she can’t seem to remember which way is open and which way is closed.  She shows me her pant leg which is wet.  What a surprise!  Before I know it, it’s lunch time and the ‘kiddies’ need to eat –same time every day.  I cook lunch, but 2 separate menus.  It would be too easy for both of them to eat the same thing.  No such luck.  Mom eats gluten-free and dad eats ‘fussy’.  After they finish lunch, dad washes the dishes.  When he’s done, I re-wash the dishes.  Told him once that he should use a sponge and soap when doing dishes, and he told me to mind my own business.  Okay.  Then, it’s nap time.  This is my opportunity to get out of the house and do my thing.  My thing is grocery shopping.  These days I can’t keep enough fruit in the house.  I’m out buying bananas, pears and apples every few days. It’s not as easy as this sounds.  I have to buy them at different ‘ripe’ levels and there’s an art to doing this.  On the positive side, my arms are getting toned carrying those heavy bags.  Living the life!

While at the grocery store, my daughter texted me telling me that she was finishing work at five and to pick her up.  I Leave the house to go pick her up and she texts me telling me that she’s working till six.  No problem.  I have nothing better to do than sit in my car and wait an hour until she finishes.  Of course, she might have called me before five to tell me that she wasn’t finishing at five, but then, that would be acknowledging that I have a life. God forbid mothers should have a life outside of their children and aging parents.

I get home and rush to get dinner on the table for the parents because dinner has to be served between 6:30-7:00 p.m.  One night at 7:10 p.m. my mother said, “So, we don’t eat tonight?” “Fire me”, I thought.

No Sex Please – Too Busy Living the Life!



No Sex Please – Nursing (Another) Bad Haircut!

What’s with the world of hair and those people who are supposed to know how to use a pair of scissors. Four months ago, I reluctantly went to have my hair trimmed as I was starting to look like a shaggy and unkempt dog.  I came out of there not with the haircut I had envisioned.  What is it about layers and blending in that stylists don’t understand??  Too many bad haircuts over the years have made me quite skittish.  The “bowl” cut a couple of years ago was my crowning glory, so to speak.  As the stylist was cutting, I said that it didn’t look like it was a layered cut which I had asked for. She told me not to worry because she wasn’t finished yet.  She kept cutting trying to give me those elusive layers that I wanted.  When I looked at the finished product, I cried.  There was no balance nor layers to be seen.  Another hairdresser had to step in to try and fix the damage.  She did the best with what she had to work with which wasn’t much.  I ran out of there fast.  It took a couple of months before it grew and looked somewhat ok.  Then it grew for another 2 months and it was time to shop around for another hair salon. Horror!

I was feeling the stress as I walked in to yet another hair salon last week and explained to them what I wanted and how the last person didn’t cut it right.  The stylist agreed.  It was a bad cut.  Please, I thought, give me a good cut. As he started cutting, he showed me how the layers should be cut to blend in with the other layers.  He talked a good talk.  He kept cutting.  Then he snipped my bangs, way too short.  My heart sank.  I knew I was in for another bad cut.  I shed a few silent tears thinking, here we go again.  Well, he finished it, styled it and sent me on my way.  Styled, it didn’t look too bad; however, after I washed it at home and tried to style it myself, my bangs wouldn’t stay down because they were too short.  I looked like Alfalfa, from Spanky and our Gang with a lock of front hair sticking right up.  I brushed it down and it came right back up.  I moussed it down and it came right back up.  I blow-dried it down and it came right back up.  It was possessed with a mind of its own.  My daughter thought it was the funniest thing and took a picture and sent it to her friend, who, helpfully, suggested Crazy Glue.  Thank you!

No Sex Please – My Hair is Standing at Attention.