No Sex Please. I’m busy cleaning poop!

Mother is 86 years old and she has just been released from hospital after a pleasant stay of 39 days.  I say a pleasant stay because that’s what she said.  She thought she was in a hotel with maid service. The nurses bathed her, changed her diaper, gave her her meds, brought her meals, regular as clockwork, and got her in and out of bed.  She was a little reluctant about going home and leaving this ‘resort’.  She asked who was going to prepare her meals at home.  Well, that would be me.  The same person that was preparing them before she went into the hospital.  She came home from her hospital stay more confused than when she went in.  The first evening that she was home, she was sitting on the couch and looked over at my dad (her husband) and asked who that man was and where his wife was. Oh crap!  What’s happening here?  Funny and not so funny.

In the morning, after her first night at home, she let out gas.  Nothing new.  We’re used to her letting out gas as she’s standing, walking, or talking to the neighbours. She is hard of hearing, so if she can’t hear them, no one else can.  Well, she not only let out gas, but also loose stools that could not all be contained in her diaper.  It reminded me of when my daughter was a baby and had a loose poop and she was covered from head to toe in the smelly brown stuff.  Oh joy! I was not a happy camper and then realized why she wanted to stay at the hospital.  The nurses never complained when they had to clean her.  Sex? No thanks.  I’m up to my eyeballs in poop.



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